You all know that I don’t normally do current events specifically, but rather point to the generally terrible societal zeitgeist instead. Also, I don’t generally watch the news (unless I’m in a weird mood and The Daily Show or The Colbert Report is clogging up my free Hulu queue) because it’s all bad anyway, so why bother? I don’t need media of any type telling me what to fear, love, and respect!
And the bullshit Natalie Morales pulled today (coincidentally, on Today) was no different.
Let me begin by saying I don’t normally even turn on the cable box. While staying where I am (for now), it’s their cable box, not mine. But my finger got lazy this morning and went for the button on the remote that turned everything on at once, so I had to wait until it was done that cycle before I could turn the cable off again. To make a long story short, they had Elizabeth Banks on to talk about the new movie with LEGOs, and I thought, “Oh cool! LEGOs! I remember them!” and went ahead and turned the sound system to the TV on (Yes – it’s separate. I’m living with people with money.).
I wish I hadn’t.
It wasn’t even two minutes after they played the trailer for the movie that Al Roker was being his trademark “neutered Beta” self talking about how it wasn’t a hero or a princess movie, but how they were all equal. (Barf.) And then Elizabeth Banks starts talking about how her character (That no one in any decent cartoon or comic book community has ever even HEARD OF before! Seriously… who the fuck is “Lucy”?!?) is so cool and how her boyfriend (as if he’s her accessory, and not vice-versa) is Batman, and he’s Narcissistic.
First of all, fuck your character. Lucy is some emo-looking bitch who adopts her entire look and feel from a comic HERO that has been laying it down for decades. Fuck you, Lucy, you sycophant… you nothing! Second of all, Elizabeth, Batman is Narcissistic? Well WOULDN’T YOU BE?!? Imagine (if your tiny brain can conceive of it, Elizabeth) that you are the Caped Crusader… you’re a fucking millionaire playboy philanthropist by day, and by night you protect an entire metropolis that has the indicative urban sprawl of modern-day New York City! All that… by yourself. Just you.
If you were Batman, you’d look yourself in the mirror and proclaim yourself king of the fuckin’ world, you condescending, deluded bitch!
But (believe it or not), that’s not even the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. It was that flippant little feminist moron Natalie Morales that did it. (And she’s not exactly popular… I had to Google search several different kinds of “female host of Today show” before I ran across her picture in one of the many articles from last year proclaiming how the Today show was going down in flames, was shitty, and was no longer worth watching. [Considering I only watched for about five minutes before deciding the same, I’d have to whole-heartedly concur.])
After Banks figured she was good enough to put down Batman, that little dimwit Morales chimed in with, “You put him in his place, huh?” WHAT… THE FUCK, you idiotic jackass!! Put him in his PLACE?!? You feminist fuck-face! That little eunuch Al Roker just ceded ground to be “equal” with you, but you still thought enough of your worthless opinion that you were going to imply that a SUPERHERO MAN’s place was beneath that of some walk-on, gender-quota BITCH‘s place??
You see what these asshole bitches in the mainstream media are trying to do? They’re no longer even hiding the fact that they think women are not only equal to but superior to men! Bitch, FUCK YOU.
Name for me the world-renowned buildings that a woman has been the head engineer, chief architect, or construction foreman on. Same thing for bridges, monuments, tunnels, highways, railways, or ports. Don’t worry; I’ll wait.
While you’re at it, go ahead and name me every woman that’s ever written plays, poems, literature, or music that has stood the test of time or been non-ironically called a “classic”.
Then, once you’re done with your list of nothing, name me all the women that have pioneered (been the first and most successful in) flight, sea/land/space exploration, invention, and medicine.
Bitches, you stand on the shoulders of GIANTS. And the day is coming – very soon – when Papa State will not be able to take care of you anymore, and guess what? The men that used to take care of you… the ones you’ve been denigrating for decades to make yourselves look better, the ones whose throats you’ve been forcing down shit while telling them it was candy, the ones you’ve counted as worthless accessories to your bloated, self-important, princess complex-having lives… they will rise as one and leave you on the GARBAGE PILE where you belong!
I only hope that there still remain some Ladies for the Men of that day, because if every bitch on Earth fell at once, I doubt 10% of the female population would remain.