What goes into being a Lady

I’ve railed against bitches numerous times on Show Me in the past, and can only recall going into what constitutes being a Lady briefly.  That seems to me to be an oversight.  It is perhaps our nature (as Men) to charge into the fray, attempting to slay or silence all enemies before addressing the concerns of home and hearth.  (Now that I think about it, that pretty much sums up US foreign policy… but that’s not what this post is about.)

Lest any current (or potential) Ladies get the wrong idea when often seeing the word “bitch” on my blog, you should know that it doesn’t apply to you.  A Lady taking umbrage at a woman being called a “bitch” would be like me taking offense at someone calling a rich White guy a “cracker”.  I hate crackers, too, so we share a common enemy – just as bitches are the natural enemies of Ladies and all that we both (Ladies and Gentlemen) hold dear.

So now that we know what Ladies are not, let’s address what they are

Ladies are compassionate.  If there was ever someone running a soup kitchen out of her own kitchen, if there was ever someone listening to people’s problems even if only to lend a helpful ear, if there was ever someone putting a dollar in a vagrant subway beggar’s cup (and then shedding a tear over his plight)… it would be a Lady doing so.
The reverse of that would be the intents behind a bitch doing similar things: running charities for the tax write-offs, listening to other’s problems to gather intel and mental ammunition for later assaults, and putting a dollar in a beggar’s cup so the friends she’s with won’t think she’s a bitch.

Ladies are domestic.  Note that I didn’t say “domesticated“, although both require proper training.  Ladies practice cooking until they make Betty Crocker and Julia Child look like peers, not unparalleled gurus.  Ladies know cleaning so well that they can tell you what natural remedy gets out what stain at the drop of a dinner glass.  Ladies know decorating so well that they can tell you what color walls encourage a close dinner party function – and what color walls encourage intimate encounters.
It is Ladies that make houses into homes, fortresses into castles, countries into kingdoms.  A proper Lady lights up a home better than any mood, track, or other lighting imaginable.  There is a warmth and inwardly-drawing energy to Ladies that draws you into their company, instead of keeping you at arm’s length… which, of course, makes for the perfect hostess as well.

Ladies are respectful of Men.  I’ve covered this in depth elsewhere, but a Lady’s job is not to love her Man, but always to respect him.  Granted, the idea gets a little confused in Western society, but a lot of things that Ladies do out of respect very nearly mirror our Western ideas of what “love” is.
Ladies do not allow people of either sex to malign Real Men (or, if the spoken context is not clearly “bastards” [the male equivalent of the “bitch”] – men in general) and will politely withdraw themselves from the company of those who do, refusing any future association.  Ladies respect Men (and everything that makes us the inspiring, noble creatures we are) just as surely as Gentlemen love Ladies (and everything that makes them the gracious, lovely creatures they are).


This will be a longer series (as this is a good start), but I’ve had a very recent incursion of ants (NYC, Ladies and Gentlemen!) into my rented room and the one that just crawled across my screen was quite distracting.  I’m going to attempt to smoosh or otherwise kill the rest, and get back to this a bit later.

About Emperor Lu Bu

The Emperor of Xeresgate - if you wish to know more, read my words.
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