Happy Dragons Day! (II)

Unable to find origin to give proper credit - if you made this, let me know!

Happy Dragons Day!

Yes, it is the fourth annual Dragons Day (and the second time it’s been mentioned in Show Me, thus the above title), folks!  (If you missed the first one, you may read it here.)  This is the day that every red-blooded Man sets aside to evaluate whether or not his Lady has become a bitch or not.  If she has, then she is sacrificed (metaphorically, you clods) to the nearest Dragon and replaced with a Lady more suited to the task of being your #2.  And for those men of you that are still living with a bitch, your local Dragon has your number, and will be calling to re-instruct you in the ways of Manliness until you grow a pair and kick her ass to the curb where it belongs!

To keep with tradition, here is another Dragons Day list – bitches versus Dragons…

———

10 reasons Dragons are better than bitches

1.  Bitches breathe metaphorical fire; Dragons breath actual fire.
2.  Bitches protect hordes of their bitch friends; Dragons protect hoards of treasure.
3.  Bitches steal your drugs to get high; Dragons get high with their wings.
4.  Bitches want to move into your place; Dragons have their own cave.
5.  Bitches give infrequent, terrible advice; Dragons offer wise insights anytime.
6.  Bitches are loud for no damn reason; Dragons are loud when they’re destroying cities.
7.  Bitches are always cheaters; Dragons are always faithful.
8.  Bitches age quickly and horribly; Dragons look badass at any age.
9.  Bitches lie to tell everyone how great they are; A Dragon’s worth is self-evident.
10.  Bitches avoid arguments they can’t win merely by bitching; Dragons will fight for their convictions to the death.

———

Do you have any pictures of you in Dragon armor, drinking from a Dragon mug, or have any Dragon sketches/artwork/videos that you’d like to share?  Well, today’s your day!  Leave them in the comments!

Happy Dragons Day, everybody!!

Advertisements

About Emperor Lu Bu

The Emperor of Xeresgate - if you wish to know more, read my words.
This entry was posted in Comedic and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Happy Dragons Day! (II)

  1. Hey man 2 things:
    1: How hard fantasy is your book, like is it loose with magic, are there ‘classes’ so to say like swordsman, mage knight, dark wizard etc?
    2: It recently crossed my mind, you had a post a while back about being in a short story, It’d be sick to be in yours, I’d either be a longsword user (if no magic, or strict magic) or a mage knight if loose on magic.

    • I suppose you’d say it’s loose. It’s magic in modern times (though there are practical, believable rules to it) with a protagonist that reveres medieval times.

      There are seven disciplines of magic (each) in two distinct, separate schools of the Art. There will be an over-arching magic for those that have mastered all the disciplines in a particular school, but such a thing is almost impossible to come by (like someone that speaks seven ancient languages – fluently).

      There’s an Eastern (sort of “Wu Xing”) element to it, as well as at least one famous, ancient Eastern hero in the mythology of it. The medieval school of thought (face-to-face combat, forging your own weapons, hunting your own food) are very MGTOW anyway, so it’s not a big narrative stretch for me.

      It’s heavily expository in the beginning, while I establish suspension of disbelief, but is (fortunately) also very relatable to youth as well as lovable old curmudgeons like myself. ^_^

      As far as a character for you, technically this isn’t a blog short-story, it’s a novel (so not really what I was talking about before); but I see a lot of you in Kyle’s character (full name: Jonathan Kylfing Sagebrecht), who we meet late in chapter 26.

      He can read minds, and needs to engage in constant work to tire his brain out enough to hold wise (vice rapid, ADD-like) conversation. He is set to become Malachi’s royal advisor. So, once he has a signature weapon, I can see to it that it’s a bastard sword version of the Ulfberht Viking sword that Malachi has already forged for himself.

      Cool?

    • Also, postscript – if you need to ask me something like this (that technically doesn’t relate to the blog post), keep in mind that my copyright information (about halfway down my page, generally) has my good email address on it. Write to me there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s