Yes, it is the fourth annual Dragons Day (and the second time it’s been mentioned in Show Me, thus the above title), folks! (If you missed the first one, you may read it here.) This is the day that every red-blooded Man sets aside to evaluate whether or not his Lady has become a bitch or not. If she has, then she is sacrificed (metaphorically, you clods) to the nearest Dragon and replaced with a Lady more suited to the task of being your #2. And for those men of you that are still living with a bitch, your local Dragon has your number, and will be calling to re-instruct you in the ways of Manliness until you grow a pair and kick her ass to the curb where it belongs!
To keep with tradition, here is another Dragons Day list – bitches versus Dragons…
10 reasons Dragons are better than bitches
1. Bitches breathe metaphorical fire; Dragons breath actual fire.
2. Bitches protect hordes of their bitch friends; Dragons protect hoards of treasure.
3. Bitches steal your drugs to get high; Dragons get high with their wings.
4. Bitches want to move into your place; Dragons have their own cave.
5. Bitches give infrequent, terrible advice; Dragons offer wise insights anytime.
6. Bitches are loud for no damn reason; Dragons are loud when they’re destroying cities.
7. Bitches are always cheaters; Dragons are always faithful.
8. Bitches age quickly and horribly; Dragons look badass at any age.
9. Bitches lie to tell everyone how great they are; A Dragon’s worth is self-evident.
10. Bitches avoid arguments they can’t win merely by bitching; Dragons will fight for their convictions to the death.
Do you have any pictures of you in Dragon armor, drinking from a Dragon mug, or have any Dragon sketches/artwork/videos that you’d like to share? Well, today’s your day! Leave them in the comments!
Happy Dragons Day, everybody!!