How the Universe Works… 95% of the Time.

Well, I promised you all an update on the Swamp-Ass/birthday/R.B.B.C. issue, and here it is –

My legs no longer stick together.

Yes; you heard that correctly.  I now have my very own personal A/C unit in my room here in NYC.  ^_^  It was a pain in the butthole to install, and I had to go purchase some additional industrial-grade extension cords (thanks to the admittedly fucked-up electrical outlet situation in my room) to ensure it was powered properly, but at least it was I who was working on it – so while it may have taken slightly longer than average to install, it was done properly and well.

It’s a tiny unit, but it manages to keep my room livable.  (I’m reserving my final judgment on its performance until NYC is struck again with the kind of balls-sticking-to-your-leg, hot, humid weather that we had the week before it arrived.)

Now, as to the nature of my receiving it (and to the point of the title of the post), I intend to put forth my stance on the God of the Universe as He relates to requests.  It is generally this: if you want something, 95% of the time, you will have to get it for yourself (even if it seems well-nigh impossible at first).  This is the method mentioned in Futurama when Bender became a god, and then met God, who said: “Bender, being God isn’t easy, if you do too much, people get dependent. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket. …When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.”

I’ve heard it said by my lamer Christian counterparts like: “God helps those who help themselves,” which (to me) sounds like saying God never really does anything.  So I prefer the Futurama version – where there’s a 5% chance He’s doing something, but you’d never be able to tell for sure anyway.

So, basically, I went ahead and dropped the hint to my mom myself, but in a way that it was impossible for me to go without.  I asked if I could borrow the money for the A/C, as I would likely have even been able to pay her back for a really good model in a few months.  Nevertheless, I found a nice, cheap one on the Target website that didn’t sell in stores and had free shipping – just in case she was obliged to buy one for my birthday.  Well, here’s the Universe’s 5% – she was.  It just so happened that the cost of it was less than some money she’d previously told me I wouldn’t have to pay her back (once the check was already secretly in the mail), so we both pretty much “made out” on the deal.

I’d like to think the Universe had a role in that.  Like existence’s best chess player, He’s so many moves ahead that He’s setting up the solution to problems before they even manifest as problems.  That’s how I like to think about it.  And that 5% is plenty enough for me.  🙂

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About Emperor Lu Bu

The Emperor of Xeresgate - if you wish to know more, read my words.
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4 Responses to How the Universe Works… 95% of the Time.

  1. darlingdoll says:

    Yea, AC!! Happy birthday 🙂

  2. we bought a 14000 btu the other day and i am needing it installed before i get up there friday. basement rooms suck lol. good thing we have the whole house to cool off in during the day. 🙂

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