It’s not often that I read another blogger’s post that strikes such a personal note with me, but this one was it! I’m not going to overshadow its message with a laborious narrative here, and would even strongly suggest that you go read it before you read past the following line for my few personal comments.
I generally disapprove of things that give young women an advantage (via intelligent advice) as it pertains to “The Game”, as – let’s face it – breasts alone are generally too much of an advantage when utilized properly. This article was from a married man to married women, however, so I will allow it.
And as a former married man, I have to say that had my ex-wife been privy to his advice then (by some miracle, informed of the article by someone other than myself), it’s entirely possible that she would have A) not become the frigid, cheating bitch that she eventually became, and B) taken even a shred of responsibility for the health of our relationship.
(A quick aside: the latter of those two things is now a major reason that I no longer put much stock in Christianity. First of all, when the Bible says that a man is to be the head of his household* and that the real responsibility/punishment for sin in marriage isn’t brought about until the man partakes in it [One of the underlying messages in the Biblical account of “original sin” in Genesis 3 – you’ll notice their eyes weren’t both opened until the man ate with her, and when it came time for a reckoning, Yahweh called for Adam first, even though he had sinned last.], the most devoutly Christian churches take that to mean that the husband does all the work for the household (and relationship) primarily, and that if there is any fault in the household, it can be traced back to a weakness or failing in the man. This is, of course, bullshit because it absolves the woman of even a passive responsibility for the man’s children or for their romantic relationship.
Secondly, I recall a church that I thought to be a good one at the time (when our marriage was still young) wherein the pastor (I won’t mention his name, but if my kids want to ask me someday, I’ll tell them.) was called – by me (thanks to all the guilt that this kind of religious lifestyle perennially placed on me) – to arbitrate a dispute between my wife and I after she had discovered that I’d rented an R-rated (typical B-movie type nudity fare) movie on my video rental card one time. She, of course, immediately knew the root problem was my “lust” for “pornography”, and not her utter lack of attention to my manly needs, thanks to this enabling “Christian” environment. The pastor, of course, without even questioning (like he should have), whether or not she had been tending to my needs properly as a wife, immediately prescribed a public restitution both of admitting my sin in front of the whole damn church and of going back to the video store to try to find the clerk from which I had rented the movie and apologize for doing so!
With this kind of radically man-abusive start to our marriage, is it any wonder that she became more and more disinclined to take responsibility for the many things she did wrongly in our marriage? And could anyone fault me for seeking refuge in my own imagination’s “GFE” and the always-present support of pornography that further emotionally separated us?
NO. And it was Christianity that led us there.)
The long and the short of it is this – if you are a married woman that has read the article in the links at the beginning of this post, take its advice!! It is completely good advice, and I strongly feel that had my marriage merely lacked Christian male-guilting quagmires and had a good wife willing to follow those instructions, it would still be a marriage to this day.
* Ephesians 5:23