10 Ways that Bitches are remarkably like Cats

I’ll keep this entry short, as I’ll be doing New Words #4 later today…

10 – They’re generally pretty creatures (especially the ones with long hair), but it’s because they spend an inordinate amount of their time on grooming.
9 – Are twice as likely to get ridiculously fat if there is someone willing to give them more attention than they deserve.
8 – If you try to blow raspberries on their stomachs, both will scratch the shit out of you.
7 – Pay them attention, and they’re indifferent; ignore them, and they’re constantly underfoot.
6 – Always making noise – as if we have the slightest idea what they’re saying.
5 – Are especially desirous of your affection if there is another of their gender around.
4 – Both tend to view prolonged, direct eye contact as a sign of aggression.
3 – They always suck up to you if they think there might be a treat involved.
2 – Both seem to live for-frikkin-ever.  (Just ask a married man.)
1 – They are generally easier to live with once reproduction is permanently prevented.

There you have it.
My landlord has cats, just in case you’re wondering what sparked this today.
So, have a nice Monday (if you can) and I’ll see you later with New Words #4.  🙂


Update:  It has come to my attention that a sizable chunk of attention is being paid to this article (Thanks to TempestTcup) via a Reddit that I’d previously not known of, called “RedPillWomen”.  I knew enlightened women (read: ladies) were out there (And I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt for now as I’m familiar with naught but my sex’s Red Pill writings.), but I had no idea that they existed in such large numbers.  In my least pandering voice, allow me to say: there may be hope for us as a society yet.

To the point: when I first wrote this article, I made the first differentiating gaffe I believe I’ve ever allowed myself to make – using the blanket term “women”, when what I obviously meant was “bitches” (This has been corrected, as you see in the title.).  I can only assume that I was tired when I wrote it, because this is a distinction I typically make quite often.

True Red Pill Women (again, benefit of the doubt) would be ladies – and therefore not represented by this list.  Of course, if you say you’re a RPW yet find yourself reflected in anything other than #10, then I’ve got news for you… you’re not a lady; you’re a bitch.

Western society is rife with bitches.  This article describes them.  I have no need to apologize to any ladies who’ve read this, of course, because you immediately knew that this had nothing to do with you.  Bravo, ladies.

And to the offended bitches?  Kiss my ass – it’s the nicest meal you deserve.

About Emperor Lu Bu

The Emperor of Xeresgate - if you wish to know more, read my words.
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17 Responses to 10 Ways that Bitches are remarkably like Cats

  1. Miss Andrea says:

    Reblogged this on My Belly Itches, I Better Feed The Cat and commented:
    ROFLMAO! I may not scratch the shit out of you if you blow raspberries on my stomach, but I won’t be pleased. 😀

    • I think that goes to intent (my lawyer-speak for the day). If a woman chooses to be deceitful merely because it’s in her nature as the inferior sex (I’ve mentioned this before – at length – both here and here.), then she’s not really worthy of any special attention for it.

      Still, I find it a little hypocritical of you (as a self-professing “Christian” – which, honestly, means about as much to me these days as if someone tells me they’re a Walmart employee) to vilify RPW wholesale, as if even attempting to fight one’s own nature is not worthy of at least some recognition. In life, the goals that are incentivized are the ones we pursue. If a vain creature such as woman cannot be given at least the chance of praise, isn’t it far less likely that they’ll be storming the gates of reason – begging entrance – anytime soon?

      But I digress.

      Your post suggested returning women to their OT status as property (I’m sure Laban would be behind you; Jacob, not so much.*), but that’s not necessary. What we as a society need to do is stop putting marriage itself on some celestial pedestal, and realize what it actually is: a business transaction. The man is trading his lifetime of labor for the woman’s offspring (his familial legacy). It was much better addressed here.

      To romanticize it even does the OT disservice (Which is quite a feat, to say the least.), as the only mentions of marriage merely have a man leaving his parents’ household to be with and have sex with a woman exclusively**. It really doesn’t mention the woman’s part in the matter (if any), but these days she should at least be allowed to say “No, thanks.” So guess what, Christian? The rings, the ceremony, the state-sponsored license…? Yeah – they’re NOT Christian in origin. (I’ll give you a minute to collect your skull shards if I just blew your mind.)

      I’m actually getting physically tired of writing this at this point. I don’t make a habit of arguing with Christians because if you need a man in the clouds (or in a nice, pointy golden hat) to dictate your morality to you, then you’re either weak or stupid. Most moral judgments are no-brainers, and most everything else can merely be obtained by observing nature. (Even Paul knew this.***) The very fact that someone had to write it down – or even that they must also interpret it for you (weekly) – leaves me in serious doubt of your logical capabilities.

      Suffice it to say: are RPW any less faulty feminine creatures merely because they are RPW? No. But are they more laudable for taking on the struggle of the RPW path? Fuck yes.

      *Genesis 28 & 29
      **Genesis 2:24
      ***Romans 1:20

      • dorsey47 says:

        You throw out the natural empirical claim in Romans 1:20. You keep the natural empirical claim in Romans 2:15. Your claim of hypocracy didn’t make it through Romans 2:1.

      • Wrong.
        Romans 2:14&15 are cop-outs written into the Bible just as surely as Isaiah 55:9.

        The fact of the matter is that the “God” of the Bible is merely a metaphor for Truth (with some local xenophobic slave-owning flavor thrown in by the authors). There was no way people then (or even, most times, now) could slip Truth under the radar than in an elaborate supernatural narrative.

        Tell people that they’re all sinners? You get stoned.
        Tell them “God” told you so? They listen intently.

        “Yeah, guys, but what happens if someone someday that doesn’t believe in our God just happens upon the Truth for themselves without accepting our God?”
        “Simple – we’ll write a passage that makes our shit still look like the only truth… and makes them look like assholes for not believing it.”

        My point stands. You’re an idiot because your morality has to be culled from a book. (And also because the word is spelled “hypocrisy”, and I did exactly the opposite of what you claimed.)

  2. TempestTcup says:

    I am so so so sorry – I thought it was really funny & cute, but the sad fact of the day is that females for the most part are trained (by other females I assume) to find offense in everything they see. I couldn’t believe it when that one girl called it “bashing” or whatever. Gah.

    Also a lot of the women on the site are either trolls or are only red pill for the good parts – they deny the not so good parts like hypergamy & solipsism. I call them purple pillers because they still want to be Team Woman & have the luxury of being offended by the slightest little thing.

    • True.

      And you know what I find as proof that I can add you to the (admittedly, short) list of bloggers I follow? Not even the “Christian” woman above (or any blog post she referenced) could find any fault with the advice you gave.

      Being “above reproach” is a commendable character trait for anyone these days, but doing so while crossing ideological streams is a fucking talent.

      You have your shot, TempestTcup. I shall expect great things from you (against nature) and earnestly hope not to be disappointed.

  3. darlingdoll says:

    No need to worry Tempest, I’ve never seen Lu Bu take offence to anyone, least of all, as he so clearly differentiates, batches, disliking what he writes about. The thing is, most people only ever get really offended if they find even an iota of truth in what the other person is saying. Hence, we find the post hilarious, they take offence.

    • darlingdoll says:

      *bitches. Damn auto correct

      • DD knows what’s up. As a point of order (my lawyer-speak for today), I believe you two are the only women I currently follow. That is one damned exclusive group! 😉

        And DD – I’m surprised that you’re not your OWN auto-correct by this point.

      • darlingdoll says:

        Ahh it was a quick message and I should have slowed down and reread it prior to hitting post :p

  4. HJ Vandenberg says:

    2 CUTE, I am going to sleep with a smile on my face tonight….its also so appropriate since I was already smirking a little , feeling like a cat that ate the proverbial mouse today . Everyone who has a moment to waste today please say AHHHH 4 my poor poor cheating ex. Because this proud to be catty woman, today, got to see a tiny bit of the karma he’s earned come his way.

    • Technically, the “proud to be a cat (i.e. – bitch)” was not the angle I was going for with this.

      Still, I’m typically very glad to hear of cheating spouses getting a cosmic comeuppance. (Make sure you don’t too closely espouse the habits of a bitch – you know, so you don’t receive some nasty karmic retribution yourself.)

  5. dorsey47 says:

    You are teaching the Bible while calling those who learn from the Bible idiots and defending yourself as not being a hypocrite. Ego much?

    • I am communicating in the only language (Biblical) that Christians understand and simultaneously hold as “above reproach”.

      That does not change the fact that I sincerely believe it to not be entirely faultless. Shakespeare was awesome, but do I stop appreciating Hamlet because Romeo was such a pussy? No.

      Some things are interesting because of their literary appeal. The Bible also happens to be a translational handbook for the logic-impaired.

      Not that I expect you to understand that.

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