Rarely do I get put in odd situations by complete strangers (not since leaving Facebook, anyway), but a recent would-be comment-poster put me in one today. Considering there was no way left to me by this person to respond back (no blog, no email, no Gravatar profile – nothing) other than posting their wall of text (which I won’t do, but I’ll get into that in a second) and then replying publicly, I’ve decided instead to post here what few reactions I have. For the sake of this person’s anonymity, I will make the reactions as generalized as possible.
These are the reasons I won’t be posting your comment:
1) For your own protection, as I get the feeling your username was your actual name. This is a foolish thing to do online, let alone in a community which is remarkable mostly for its utter anonymity.
2) Like I said before, it’s a wall of text. No one wants to read something like that (Don’t worry; I did.). I did save it just in case it needs to be referred to later, but I can’t approve it.
3) Various grammatical and structural errors that left it unclear in places as to what you meant to say.
4) You speak of some other people also using their possible real names. In the interest of impartial fairness, I cannot allow that either.
These were my reactions –
1) I cannot publicly judge between you and the other parties (although I am more than happy to email with you privately) – I do not know you personally. As such, I can never tell who’s lying and who isn’t, and I’m tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt before having that same benefit later bite me in the ass. I’m not discrediting what you’ve said (as it may, in fact, be very true), but I cannot act as if it is with any amount of impunity.
2) I have a small eye of the person you mentioned from other communications, so it lends credence to your story, which – as you tell it – is a sad and unfair one. If you ever do make a full Gravatar profile (with your email on it), please feel free to comment again. I will use the information to contact and converse with you without posting the comment, I assure you.
3) Any man or woman that strikes the opposite sex without just cause is a villain. However, just because (ladies) you’re of the fairer sex, don’t think that any man you strike becomes a villain by striking you back. If you hit him, you deserve a swift comeuppance just as surely as one would expect you to give him if he’d struck the first blow. It’s remarkable (in these days of “equality”) how little you hear feminists getting up in arms about women hitting men and getting away with it – while the reverse is harshly vilified and somehow worthy of the utmost censure.
4) I know everyone’s story of pain is unique, and it’s always difficult when there are extended family members or children involved. I also know, as Westerners and Americans, how utterly self-absorbed we tend to get – to the exclusion of all others. It’s a sort of laissez-faire Narcissism know as solipsism. Look it up. As the fifth amendment has taught us (and as anyone with siblings will tell you), it’s hardly ever in our best interests to tell the whole story. Granted, there are a few of us that (even doing so) could go far enough back in the story to absolve ourselves of all wrongdoing and intent, but that would take hours… and not too many people are interested enough to bear with even the most innocent for that.
To sum up: I like a good story as well as the next person. And I generally take the side of the person that has been most severely wronged (as you appear to have been). But leave me a way to contact you without posting your life’s story on my blog… even if it’s just another WP blog and your “About” page, that you can easily read and then erase. Deal?