Those of you that know me personally know that I am typically only prejudiced against rich people and bitches (not ladies, for those of you just getting here). Of the rich people, typically the white people are the worst – and I can say that, because I’m white… and I know what devious little fuckers we generally are.
So when I moved to Brooklyn from Baltimore, I thought: “Finally… nothing but black people. It’ll be great.” Well, while the nice little brownstone I rent a room in is owned by a couple of cool black dudes and their Mom (and the other renters are black as well), we all have the misfortune of being smack dab in the middle of two crazy white people-owned brownstones.
On the side closest to me (of course) are the drum-beating, awful folk music-playing hippie white people. They have no sense of time or night, apparently. That, and they have loud, obnoxious friends.
On the side furthest from me are the uptight young married couple (complete with kid). I’d like to say that the worst thing they have going for them is a colicky brat (which I wouldn’t hear from my side of the house, and I don’t think they have), but these are the kind of jackasses that are addicted to HGTV (I would’ve added a link here, but the HGTV site looks like it’s run by some pastel-addicted decorator instead of an awesome Bob Vila type that smells like Home Depot… and yes, I can smell awesome over the internet.). Now, don’t get me wrongly: I like the home improvement channel as much as the next guy. I think it’s intriguing. However, when every other day you’re hearing incessant hammering, drilling, or power-sanding… it’s annoying as fuck.
I know I was born white, but I gotta say: it’s starting to be not just the rich ones that annoy me. I guess it’s true that familiarity breeds contempt. I was talking to this black guy on the subway once that said he’d just been talking to another black guy that said the same thing… about black people! I was shocked. Apparently, it works for both cultures. We end up resenting the jackasses we grew up with.