As I was groggily finishing my morning pee, it segued abruptly in my head to my own existence – and my earliest lessons on who “God” was. Bear with me, here… it’s a very abrupt segue.
It got me to thinking about the God we children of Baptist parents are first introduced to – the God of the Old Testament. By all accounts, he was a vengeful, jealous, angry God. And that’s not me saying that – that’s him (Romans 12:19, Exodus 34:14, Psalms 7:11)! Me? I’d just call him what most folks call people that are vengeful, jealous, and angry – a prick. And this is where the segue makes sense… I am still alive.
For all the fire and judgment that ol’ Yahweh was slinging around in the OT, he has directed remarkably few (okay, no) brimstone blusterings my way. There is verse after verse in the OT promising riches and rewards for good, and misery and judgment for “evil” (I’m pretty sure even sloth makes the cut for that team.) in one’s life. And trust me ladies and gentlemen: even though I’m more often merely guilty of procrastination, I’m no saint. I haven’t been to church in years… the God of the Universe I tend to believe in is far different from everything I was ever taught… and for the amount of support I’ve given the gay community in the past, I’ve been burned from the sky exactly zero times.
Hell, I’ve even tried to take my own life a time or two. You’d think if Yahweh were stoking the flames of the afterlife, eager to get me there, that he would’ve allowed me to charge right in – no waiting. I’d certainly deserve it (according to him). So why not?
Well, like anyone who believes in something silly – be it Yahweh, Santa Claus, or even evolution – eventually you just have to wise up. If the concept of God helps you through the day, fine… make your own. As long as your “God” doesn’t have you interfering in others’ lives when they aren’t hurting anyone (like those WBC assholes), and he gives you comfort in times of personal trials and adversity – fine. That’s why I’m not too hard on my Mom. Everyone needs a Teddy bear of some sort.
Just don’t go telling people your Teddy bear is going to send them to hell. That’s just rude.