In honor of the third annual Dragons Day (created by yours truly in response to probably the most dreaded and commercially suspect “holiday” of all time: V-Day [That’s right – it is disrespectful to say its full name on Dragons Day!]), I have come up with a handy list of 10 ways that Dragons Day is empirically better than V-Day.
So, don your Dragon gear, drink your Dragon shots, and happily read…
10 ways Dragons Day is better than V-Day
- A Dragon – any Dragon – would kick the ever-lovin’ shit out of Cupid.
- On Dragons Day, you don’t buy overpriced candy for your annoying other, you sacrifice her ass to the Dragon and he finds you a new one.
- Dragons aren’t about poetry, they’re about badassery.
- The only way diamonds are brought up on Dragons Day is if you find one in his hoard.
- Picture a Dragon. Did “commitment” pop into your head? No? Exactly.
- A Dragon would never make you feel badly for drinking to excess on his day.
- Dragons don’t eat in fancy restaurants. In fact, if you’re eating somewhere that you can’t order an entire leg of something bigger than a chicken, it’s probably an insult.
- If you’re the kind of person that saves head for V-Day, then on Dragons Day, your head would be on a pike.
- V-Day? Possibly one fat dancing girlfriend. Dragons Day? 76 hot, busty strippers!
- No one gets you sappy sweaters or other shitty clothes for Dragons Day. (Enjoy the new armor!)
Can you think of any other ways Dragons Day is better than V-Day? Leave them in the comments!
Happy Dragons Day, everybody!!